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β„’ est. sometime in the 2000s
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I
I
I
I
I

There is no "I" in TEAM.

There is, however, an "I" in BRIAN.
Brian has been aware of this for some time. He considers it significant.
B
R
I
A
N
↑ Brian has had this framed. It is in the office. Nobody asked him to put it there.
πŸ“‹ STATEMENT FROM BRIAN SIMPSON, RE: THE TEAM

"People say there is no I in team. I say: look harder. Also, I would like to point out that BRIAN contains an I, that I am the founder of this company, and that without me there would be no team to put an I in. So in a very real sense, the I is load-bearing. You're welcome, team."

β€” Brian Simpson, Founder, Agent, Load-Bearing I, Known Bitch

A Thorough Analysis of the Situation

Conducted by Brian. Peer reviewed by nobody. Brian did not ask for peer review.

The Word "TEAM"

Contains: T, E, A, M. No I. Brian acknowledges this. He does not think it applies to him specifically. He has said this out loud on more than one occasion.

VERDICT: NOTED. IRRELEVANT.
The Word "BRIAN"

Contains: B, R, I, A, N. One I. Centrally located. Brian considers its position in the word to be "not an accident." Brenda has not commented. Dave said "that's just how names work." Brian wrote it down.

VERDICT: SIGNIFICANT.
Brian's Conclusion

Brian is the I. The team exists around the I. The I is Brian. This is not a metaphor. Brian has a whiteboard diagram. It has been up since March. Nobody has touched it.

VERDICT: CASE CLOSED (BY BRIAN).

Responses from the Rest of the Team

(The other two people)

BRENDA STILLS β€” Agent

"I have been at this company for six years. My name also has an I in it. Brian has not mentioned this. I have chosen not to bring it up."

BRENDA also contains an I. Brian is aware. He is choosing to move on.
DAVE β€” Intern (Unpaid)

"I don't have a last name on the website so I'm not sure this applies to me. Also DAVE has no I in it. I feel this is relevant. Brian disagrees."

Dave is correct. Brian told him it "doesn't count." Dave wrote it down.

You came here to learn about the team.
You learned about Brian. As Brian intended.

← BACK TO HOMEPAGECONTACT BRIAN (THE I IN TEAM)
πŸ† Best Realty
In Our Building
2021
⭐ Voted "Most Improved"
by Dave's Mom
(she was very supportive)
πŸŽ‰ Participant
Regional Realty Expo
2018 (we had a table)
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Mon–Fri: 11am–11:15am
Saturday: "Maybe"
Sunday: No
Holidays: Definitely No
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Suite 4B (or 4C, we forget)
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Β© 2009 Rock Bottom Properties. All Rights Reserved. Website last updated: we're not sure
Results not typical. Some homes may not exist. Rock Bottom Properties is not responsible for any feelings of regret, despair, or confusion arising from the home buying process. Brian Simpson is not a licensed therapist. Brenda Stills' cats are not included in any property sale unless otherwise negotiated. "Hundreads" is a word we use. Past performance is not indicative of future results, especially ours. Rock Bottom Properties LLC is a registered business in at least one state. We think. Please consult an actual professional before making any real estate decisions. This website was built by someone who tried their best.
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